Goodbye, My Love
by BenoightLangson
Summary: One shot in Olivia's POV. Olivia reflects on her and Hank's short life together as she says her final goodbye. ***WARNING*** Very emotional.


**A/N: As much as I love Benoight, this is not my typical type of story for them. I don't own any of the characters except my own. Enjoy!**

 **Olivia's POV**

As a police officer, I have always tried to be prepared for the inevitable. I had wished I was dead after William Lewis abducted and beat me and I knew that lone bullet in his gun was meant for me. Yet I managed to come out of there alive and he's dead. Other than my Squad, was there really anyone that would have cared if I was dead or alive? At first, I didn't think so but then the thing I have wanted to have happen more than anything in this world, happened. I became a mom. Well, a foster mom. Noah had become my only reason for living. That is until I met Hank. Ok, so maybe things didn't start out on the right foot as I had to threaten to arrest him the first time we met. He was a lot like Elliot, stubborn and hotheaded, although pigheaded might have been a better word to describe Hank. I know there is nothing he wouldn't have done for me and when he gave me his word, I knew he meant it.

We started dating shortly after that first case we worked on. I thought I must be crazy but there was just something about him that made me want to be around him all the time. The only thing that stood in our way was the distance between New York in Chicago. We tried to spend as much time as we could in each other's cities when we first started seeing each other. He met Noah and I met Justin. Both meetings went well. It almost seemed like we were starting to become a family. Knowing what Hank was like at work, I never really expected him to be as amazing as he was in bed. We created our daughter, Cassandra the first night we were together. I didn't think I could have been any happier than I was when Noah came into my life but then I was blessed with our beautiful daughter. Hank and I married shortly after Yates was sent to prison. It had become a diversion for Erin after Nadia's death and the only people in attendance were our respective Squads and our family. As hard as it was, I made the decision to leave SVU and New York but that didn't happen until after Hank and I adopted Noah together. I pretty much took over Intelligence, which Hank was fine with. He promised me he'd behave and I was on desk duty until after our daughter's birth anyway.

We adjusted to being a new family with two young children, two grown up children and a grandson. I loved Justin as much as I loved Noah but I wasn't going to push it if he didn't want to allow me to be anymore than a stepmother. I was ok with that but he said he loved me as much as he did his own mother. As far as he was concerned though, I was Daniel's grandma and I was perfectly happy with that. I wanted him to be a part of Noah and Cassie's lives. He managed to get leave to be with us when Cassie came into the world. That meant everything to me.

My whole world was turned upside down a few days ago. We had gotten a call about a case but I couldn't find Hank and I was becoming frantic. None of the rest of the Squad had heard from him. I sent half of the team to the call, while the other half and I went looking for Hank. I got a call from Chief Boden saying that someone contacted the Fire Department about seeing a body in the shallow waters of Lake Michigan just off the shore of one of the beaches. He told me I needed to get there. Erin had stayed with me and thankfully, so did Jay and Alvin. The 4 of us drove to the beach Chief Boden told us to go to. All the way there, I had a bad feeling. My mind kept wandering to Hank and I making love that morning and seeing him with our two young children before we left for work. Upon arrival at the beach, I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. It was my worst nightmare come true. The body was Hank's. I knelt down next to my husband's lifeless body and lost it as did Erin. Erin and I held each other and cried for what seemed like an eternity but in reality, it had only been minutes. I looked up at Alvin and he was crying as well, which was to be expected since he was Hank's best friend. Jay was trying to be the strong one and be the shoulder I knew Erin would need but I could see tears in his eyes as well. The only thing I needed at that moment was to be in my husband's arms but I knew it was never going to happen again. The person or persons responsible took his gun and vest after they beat him unconscious and shot him.

Jay had called the rest of the Squad, Burgess and Platt to our location and by the time they put Hank on the gurney and wheeled him to the ambulance, they arrived. The firefighters, the rest of the Squad, Burgess and Platt saluted as he passed them. Jay was glued to Erin and thankfully, Alvin wouldn't leave my side until Justin and my former Squad arrived in Chicago. Besides Fin, Amanda and Carisi, Melinda, Rafael, Ed Tucker, Trevor Langan, Cragen, Munch and of course Lucy also came to Chicago. I waited until Justin got there before I went home. I didn't want to go home alone and Samantha, our nanny said she would stay as long as I needed her. It was going to be hard enough to try to explain to Noah that Daddy was never coming home and of course he asked why. I didn't answer because I didn't know why as I had been asking myself that same question for most of the day. Fin, as he has always been over the years, was my rock. He tried getting me to eat something but I wasn't hungry. He tried to convince me to lie down and rest for a while but I couldn't.

I didn't know how I was going to get through the next several days preparing for Hank's wake and funeral. I was a mess both physically and emotionally. Intelligence had been removed from the investigation which they gladly allowed. The entire Squad had been in a daze ever since Hank's death. Erin and I were both planning to take an indefinite leave of absence from work and others had needed to take time as well. This had been a big blow not just to me and Erin as his family but to the rest of the Squad as well. Justin's CO told him to take as much time as he needed, so he could be with his family during this horrible time. He said that he and Olive decided that when he goes back, she and Daniel will stick around for as I long as I need them to, which I really appreciated. I needed all the love and support I could get right now. Even the group from New York said they would stick around or comeback at another time to do whatever I needed them to do.

This morning as I was in bed feeding my daughter, who is in so many ways like her daddy, I realized that Hank was brought into my life for a reason. Hank and I had only been married for just over a year but sometimes it seemed like it was longer and I loved him so much. Cassie was the product of that love and I am glad that I was given the chance to be a mother to my own child. I just wish Hank had been around long enough to see her grow up to be the beautiful woman I know she will be one day.

This is the morning that I and so many others are saying our final goodbye to the man that touched our lives in so many different ways. I wasn't prepared to have such a short life with him and I had hoped that when we had taken our vows a year earlier, we would have grown old together. I never expected to have to say goodbye to the love of my life, my best friend, my soul mate, my husband and the father of my children so soon.

I may not have had the best of luck with relationships in my life but I really lucked out the moment Hank Voight stepped into my office and tried doing an interrogation his way. I never would have guessed that all he needed was someone to put him in his place and make him realize that he didn't need to spend the rest of his life mourning his wife. Well, guess what? I will probably be spending the rest of mine mourning him. Goodbye, my love.

 **Reviews are appreciated.**


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